I’ve written honestly in the past about some of the things I struggle with. I’m overweight. I battle depression. I’m far from perfect. These things have been on my mind more lately as my weight loss efforts stalled over the holidays and my depression seems to have returned with a vengeance. After a very embarrassing crying-in-public incident recently I saw my doctor and got back on an antidepressant that’s worked well for me in the past. These things take a few weeks to start working but just taking action is helpful. I’m also, deep breath here, thinking about seeing a therapist. This is tough because I AM a therapist. What could anyone possibly tell me that I don’t already know? But the idea that someday Jack will be a grown man who could be sitting in a therapist’s chair discussing the ways in which his mother’s issues affected him is motivation enough to swallow my pride. Anybody local have an awesome therapist to recommend? No way am I going to anybody I already know!
I gained a few pounds over the holidays but am back on track now and a half pound lighter than I was at Thanksgiving. I’ve said it before and I want to be clear: this weight loss thing is about my health and well-being, not body image. I need to get healthy and strong for many reasons, but the greatest is that eventually Nick and I would love to have another child. My pregnancy with Jack was very difficult. It gave me so much respect for people who deal with chronic pain. I saw a new OB recently who gave me some great advice on preparing for my next pregnancy, including getting healthy and doing PT to fix whatever’s wrong with my back that caused me so much pain last time. So let me add “finding a babysitter so I can go to PT” to my to-do list.
So that’s what’s going on with me. Forgive me for just putting it all out there like that. This blog is my creative outlet and I actually started it as part of my effort to pull myself out of a previous bout with depression. I feel such a sense of community with the folks who read, whether you comment or not, and I love you dearly. Whatever you’re struggling with please know you’re not alone.